It has been a while since my last blog post. So much has been going in in life. It’s all been really good, but has left me often with the above question.
You see, God made it very clear to me last December that there was something else in store for me vocationally. At the same time my husband and I started yearning for simplicity in the lives of us and our family. Prayer began that God would take us to the right place and everything would line up perfectly.
It hasn’t been quite that easy. The school year has begun and we were hoping to be in our new location so the kids could start the year off fresh. That didn’t happen. An offer was put on our house and the process has been painfully slow with the bank. Slower than we had hoped. We have been searching for new housing and that process has also been much slower than we had hoped, with doors closing right and left.
I have prayed, both begging God for what we need and desire as well as praying with expectation: that he knows our needs and will provide accordingly. I have hoped and trusted. I hear countless testimonies where folks talk about everything lining up perfectly and all at the same time. I’ve prayed that I, too, could have such a testimony. God, however, doesn’t seem to be keen to work in my life that way; at least not at this time.
It has certainly left me with asking God where he is in all of this. Some days it’s so clear and others, not so much. Throughout all of this I believe God is teaching me, and our family, to continue to trust in him. He’s got this, he’s got US, even when we don’t see his end game and the final outcome.
I’m not gonna lie, trusting God is hard. It’s not easy living in the unknown at times, believing that he has a plan and that one day he will reveal to me exactly what that is. It’s hard knowing the first steps to take, and then having to wait longer than I want to find out the next direction. And it’s hard when you have a family on the faith journey as well.
I think about Abraham and how God told him to go to the land he would reveal to him. That must have been so hard, knowing that he needed to begin a journey but not knowing the destination. I find strange comfort knowing that God is a sneaky God, often asking us to just trust him without us humans knowing his plans. I find comfort in knowing that others have traveled this faith journey before me, and that God proves faithful time and again, just as he has proved in our lives countless times.
I’m looking forward to a day when I don’t lack faith and don’t feel quite so Flustered at the unknown. Until then, I will continue to pray and wait on the Lord and on his timing.